he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize