Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Randomize