Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
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One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
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I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
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