Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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