She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
