How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
never play flip cup with pint glasses
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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