Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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