I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
