but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
where are my eyebrows?
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