STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
