i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
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I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I need a burrito and a hug.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
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Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize