need another drink. this is the easiest way
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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