do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
