How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
