everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
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