this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Randomize
