No, drunk sperm still make babies.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I touched a dick in church today
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
