Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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