Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
