Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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