I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
