One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
