Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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