is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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