I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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