You're completely useless in the revolution.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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