I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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