I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I can't turn off my feet"
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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