Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
