your thong is hanging out like whoa
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
