remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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