haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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