Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
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