I wanna passion pit in your ass
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
