I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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