My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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