I think I am morally bankrupt
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
