i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
He shit in the fireplace
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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