is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
