In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
