omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
