You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I currently don't understand fingers.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
