I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
