i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
