You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
