singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
he shaved USA in his pubs
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
