I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
