If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize