how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize