I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize