naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize