Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
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