Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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