he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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