I cannot find my penis.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
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